Here It Is, Rachel!!

I really am alive! Maybe you’ve guessed that my last month or so haven’t been exactly filled with free time, peace and tranquility! Besides being Very Busy, we’ve also had our share of emotional/spiritual struggles. I do find it really hard to write when I’m not feeling “on top” of things, maybe since writing isn’t my preferred form of communication anyway. So, without any more excuses, I’ll try to update you on what’s been going on around our house…

Some words to describe my life (with apologies to Rhonda for stealing this idea from her:

Fragile: This fourth pregnancy has been the hardest for me emotionally. I don’t know if it’s because I’m older or because I have more children than other times and I’m home-schooling two of them… At any rate, I find that my emotional and mental energy are so quickly depleted and I can very quickly slide into crying, feeling overwhelmed, yelling at my kids, etc. I feel pretty fragile and haven’t been too impressed with my behavior many times. But I do have to say that God is faithful and when I cry out to Him for help, He does help me!!

Grateful:

-Caleb pulled our 4-drawer filing cabinet over on himself last week! (That’s what happens when you pull out the top three drawers at the same time!) I couldn’t get it up by myself and he was pinned under it. I panicked, of course! Then I remembered that my friend, AnneJisca was here. She heard the commotion (to put it mildly) and came to my rescue. Together we were able to set it up. I was wondering how many bones were broken, but he ended up with two little bruises – one barely visible. Amazing! Thank you, Jesus for your protection!

-My kids have two Grandmas who like to take them for part of a day almost every week. (One of them gets two kids and the other one gets one.) It’s a great way for me to have a break and get some other stuff done!!

-When our stuff was stolen in the City, one big disappointment was that I had bought a denim shirt for Caleb at Value Village. I was so excited because all three of them would have one then and I like to dress them alike sometimes. (See, you can still have some fun dressing little boys!) Anyway, it was gone, and I said something to God like, “Well, you provided all these things once, I wonder how you’ll do it again?” Then I gave up on Caleb having a denim shirt. Last night, Keith brought in from the van two garbage bags of clothes a friend had given me a week or two ago (I don’t get things done fast around here, remember?) :-) One of the first things I pulled out of them this morning was a denim shirt in great shape that fits Caleb! I was floored and so thankful that God knows exactly what we like and want and sometimes He just hands out little special blessings like candy!

Anticipation: In only 7 weeks (give or take!) we’ll have a precious new baby to hold and take care of!

Confusion: What in the world should we name the precious little baby??

Validation: The other night I was talking to my dear sister. I mentioned that I feel like absolutely all I get done is home-school, and just the basics at home. She replied with “well, of course” and explained that she thinks that’s pretty normal for my situation. That made me feel so good, because so often I feel like I should be more of a super-woman and “get more done” or educate my boys more adequately. It’s hard not to feel like a failure lots of the time. Thanks, Rachel! And the same day another friend who home-schooled 4 (now-grown) kids assured me that you do what you can and don’t let Satan steal your joy by always telling you you’re not doing enough. Thanks, Debbie!

Excitement: Christmas is coming!

Wondering: How in the world will I get everything done by then? I’m having to lower my expectations big time. Really, I should be happy if we get a tree up and decorated and the presents bought and wrapped. Plans are already made/in the making to make candy on Saturday with Iris (yay!) and gingerbread houses with the boys and some little friends next Sat. I really want to do the advent wreath and calendar again with the kids. Other than that, I hope I’ll have some time to make a few kinds of cookies, but who knows??

Fun!: The presents are bought!! Well, almost all of them. Last Saturday, Kendra, Logan and I went to the “Big Town” to shop and have Logan’s picture taken. (And I just have to insert that Logan my have a future as a model. He was such a little cheeser and had so much fun having his picture taken!) That was a very successful shopping trip and we got to eat at Pizza Hut and get bagels from Tim Horton’s for on the way home. Then yesterday morning I spent an hour and a half on the internet and crossed lots off of my list of gifts to buy (two of the boys were at Grandma’s!). In the afternoon, Caleb and I did some more shopping around town and got a bunch of stocking stuffers, etc. Last night the boys helped me start wrapping some stuff. That was fun!!

Disappointment:

-Why does God answer some prayers – big or small – “easily” and others just seem to take forever?? There are things I’ve been praying for and it seems like so long and sometimes I think my heart will break if they’re not answered soon. I just started (again) the book “Believing God” by Beth Moore and I hope that helps answer some of my questions and bolster my faith!

-The day Josiah was born, they discovered I had high blood sugar. We don’t know how long it had been going on. So, of course, this time, I’m having to check it periodically. I had been forgetting for awhile, but the other night when I checked it, suddenly it was quite high! Sigh. Since then it’s been high sometimes but not always. We’ll see what the Doc says on Monday! In the meantime, I know I shouldn’t be eating any sugar, but I’m rebellious on that one right now. And we’re making Christmas candy tomorrow!

Health: Thank God for health! Keith went through a week or more of a really nasty virus. I don’t know if I’ve ever seen him so miserable. We’re so thankful he’s better! Then Josiah got pink-eye and had to have antibiotic ointment for that. Other than that we are healthy. I’m just so thankful for how good I feel. I can still sleep pretty well at night, I’m not retaining fluid yet so no carpal tunnel when I sleep and my feet don’t hurt, my back rarely hurts, and I’m just now starting to feel a bit like an elephant, if you know what I mean. :-) Thank God for His goodness!

Cold: It was -30 C (you Americans can do the math) this morning!

I’m sure I could write more, but I need to just get this posted so you won’t all think I’ve died or something! I wonder if anyone is checking my blog anymore! Happy December!